“In solitude I get rid of my scaffolding; no friends to talk with, no telephone calls to make, no meetings to attend, no music to entertain, no books to distract, just me—naked, vulnerable, weak, sinful, deprived, broken—nothing. It is this nothingness that I have to face in my solitude, a nothingness so dreadful that everything in me wants to run to my friends, my work, and my distractions so that I can forget my nothingness and make myself believe that I am worth something. But that is not all. As soon as I decide to stay in my solitude, confusing ideas, disturbing images, wild fantasies, and weird associations jump about in my mind like monkeys in a banana tree. Anger and greed begin to show their ugly faces. I give long, hostile speeches to my enemies and dream lustful dreams in which I am wealthy, influential, and very attractive—or poor, ugly, and in need of immediate consolation. … The task is to persevere in my solitude, to stay in my cell until all my seductive visitors get tired of pounding on my door and leave me alone.” Henri Nouwen
“In the history of salvation,
neither in the clamour nor in the blatant,
but the Shadows and the Silence
are the places in which God chose
to reveal himself to humankind.”
Pope Francis
“But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” Luke 5:16
Moving From Head to Heart
- Do you avoid solitude? If so, why?
- Are you expecting to find God, or be found by him in crowd’s “clamour?”
- Are you willing to “persevere” in your solitude until the “monkeys in the banana tree” give up and leave you alone?
“The world is full of people wanting to solve [its] problems. But the world would profit much more if people would first confront their own anxieties and the things that cause them 1) to have to fill every silence with meaningless chatter, 2) to stay constantly busy, and 3) to do anything to avoid being still.” David K. Flowers
Abba, deliver me from these tactics.
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For More: The Essential Henri Nouwen
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The “Daily Riches” from RicherByFar are for your encouragement as you seek after God, and as he seeks after you. My goal is to give you something of uncommon value each day in less than 400 words. I hope you’ll follow my blog, and share it with others. I appreciate your interest! – Bill (Psalm 90:14)
This is one of my favourite Henri Nouwen quotes, because it captures so brilliantly my own experiences of being on silent retreats – the terrifying yet rich space of facing my nothingness in silence and solitude. Somehow that nothingness is a portal into God’s “somethingness”.
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Nicely put Sharon. Thanks for contributing. May we each discover that portal into God’s “somethingness.”
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