“Shame lies at the core of our resistance to knowing and embracing our brokenness. It arises in response to a profound sense of vulnerability. It is being caught in God’s garden with your pants down and a half-eaten forbidden fruit in your hands just at the moment when you hear God calling your name and walking toward you. That’s naked vulnerability–something that is so intolerable and unstable that it quickly resolves into shame. What the Genesis story of the Fall tells us is that our fundamental problem lies in the fact that we want to be a god, not human. We hate the vulnerability that comes from being human. And when we experience it, we grasp anything available to try and cover our nakedness rather than embrace it. Shame and vulnerability make us want to run and hide. …The vulnerability I am speaking of is intentional, never circumstantial. It is a choice, a willing allowing of ourselves to remain undefended at a point of acute rawness and fragility. It is choosing not to run and hide from our nakedness. This is why it is a spiritual posture, not a personality trait…. It is choosing openness and trust. It’s a vote for our true self and is always, therefore, at the expense of our false ways of being in the world. …This [relates to] Henri Nouwen’s notion of the wounded healer–our capacity to help others not despite our own brokenness but precisely because of it. Wholeness doesn’t come from eliminating brokenness but trusting openness to life in the midst of it. In the same way, we don’t come to God by eliminating our sin but by receiving the joyful news of our acceptance by God in the midst of it. Paradoxically, our sin is a gift because it makes us aware of our need for God’s grace. In the same way, our wounds are a gift because they make us aware of our lack of wholeness and can be a threshold to healing and further wholeness. …paradoxically, we have to embrace our brokenness if we are to avoid being stuck in it. That embrace is not an embrace of resignation. It is an embrace of acceptance.” David Benner
“They sewed fig leaves together
and made coverings for themselves.”
Genesis 3:7
Moving From the Head to the Heart
- Is your goal to be vulnerable before God–”to remain undefended at a point of acute rawness and fragility” rather than hiding or blaming?
- Are you learning to be “undefended” in other relationships as well?
- Could accepting or embracing your brokenness be the next step to God’s healing you?
Abba, I renounce my disguises and excuses. Work your healing work in me.
For More: Surrender to Love by David Benner
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What is the difference between resignation and acceptance, to you?
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“Resignation” has negative connotations: “I accept it because I can’t couldn’t change it if I wanted to.” “Acceptance” connotes an appreciation (as in of a gift), and while I couldn’t change it, I wouldn’t want to change it (the brokenness, the loss, the weakness). Of course, realistically there are days when you don’t feel that way, but in my best, sanest, wisest moments, I’m with Paul the apostle – “rejoicing in my weakness” because of the good that comes out of it – and wouldn’t come any other way. I’ve learned this the hard way, which Rohr and many others say is really the only way.
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