Category Archives: Change Yourself First

Daily Riches: “Detachment” and Loving Well (Donald McCullough) *

Posted on by under Change Yourself First, Detachment and Attachment, Loving Well, Self-care

“Love flourishes only in freedom. Relationships based on the illusions born of insecurities inevitably will become coercive, and nothing destroys love faster then coercion. How could it be otherwise? Love is a gift, one that cannot be given under compulsion or taken by force. Love cannot happen if others are treated as mere extensions of ourselves as slaves of our needs and desires. Only through detachment–the separation of ourselves from others and others from ourselves–can we find the freedom that makes room for the mutual attentiveness and mutual honoring and mutual delight and mutual serving that are the foursquare foundation of authentic love.” Donald McCullough

“I have loved you
even as the Father has loved me.
Remain in my love.
… Love each other in the same way
I have loved you.”
John 15:9,12

Moving From the Head to the Heart

  • Does such “detachment” from others seem like a good and proper thing, or a selfish, misguided thing? Are you able to give someone freedom to solve their own problem – or not? to fail – or not? What does your answer say about you?
  • Have you even had someone try to control you or manipulate you “for your own good?” Did you feel loved?
  • Is your love ever coercive or manipulative – really about some need of yours? If so, can you put your finger on what that need of yours might be?
  • God loves you greatly, but allows you to make lots of mistakes, and often, to suffer the consequences. He respects your freedom, and waits for you to choose to love him. All this could be otherwise. Do you think it’s good the way it is? Why or why not?

Abba, help me to love others, not because of some need of my own, but for their good. Help me to love enough to release control of those I love, even when sometimes it means watching them struggle and fail. Even when I think I have the answer. Even when I think they can’t do without me.

__________

For More: The Consolations of Imperfection by Donald McCullough

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My goal in sharing these ‘daily riches” is to give you something of uncommon value each day in 400 words of less. I hope you’ll follow my blog, and share it. I appreciate your interest! –  Bill (Psalm 90:14)

Daily Riches: The Primary Work of the Christian Leader (Gordon MacDonald, Henri Nouwen and Parker Palmer) *

Posted on by under Being and Doing, Change Yourself First, Loving Union with God, Self-care, Striving and drivenness, Success

“The forming of the soul that it might be a dwelling place for God is the primary work of the Christian leader. This is not an add-on, an option, or a third-level priority. Without this core activity, one almost guarantees that he/she will not last in leadership for a life-time or that what work is accomplished will become less and less reflective of God’s honor and God’s purposes.” Gordon MacDonald

“Before we can conquer the world we must conquer the self.” Oswald Sanders

“Self care is never a selfish act. It is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have – the gift I was put on earth to offer to others.” Parker Palmer

“The goal of education and formation for the ministry is continually to recognize the Lord’s voice, his face, and his touch in every person we meet.” Henri Nouwen

“How lovely is your dwelling place,
  Almighty Yahweh!
My soul yearns, even faints,
 for the courts of Yahweh;
my heart and my flesh cry out
 for the living God.”
Psalm 84:1-2

Moving From the Head to the Heart

  • Christian leader, do you consider “the forming of your soul that it might be a dwelling place for God” to be your “primary work?” Have you established routines and prioritized practices accordingly?
  • When you think about whether you are successful, how often do you turn to consider how you’re doing at this “core activity?” If not this, what do you think about instead? Are other responsibilities, real or imagined, deterring you from this non-optional, first-level activity?
  • Gordon MacDonald is a wise guide here. Can you accept his warning that if you fail at this point you probably “will not last in leadership for a life-time … [or your work will] become less and less reflective of God’s honor” over time?  Can you take the time to be this kind of leader in spite of the expectations and pressures others place on you – even perhaps with little encouragement from anyone else?

Abba, I pray that the Christian leaders I know would live a life of deep intimacy with you. Call them to yearn for you like the psalmist does, and to seek your empowering presence. And Lord, help those of us under their care to prayerfully support them and diligently protect them when they attempt this greatest of all work.

__________

For More: Cultivating the Soul by Gordon MacDonald

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These “Daily Riches” are for your encouragement. I hope you’ll follow my blog, and share it. I appreciate your interest!  –  Bill (Psalm 90:14)

Daily Riches: Beyond Dualistic Thinking (Richard Rohr) *

Posted on by under Change Yourself First, Ego Issues, The Call to Change

“Jesus’ direct and clear teachings on issues such as nonviolence; a simple lifestyle; love of the poor and our enemies; forgiveness, inclusivity, and mercy; and not seeking status, power, perks, or possessions have all been overwhelmingly ignored throughout history by mainline Christian churches, even those who so proudly call themselves orthodox or biblical. This avoidance defies explanation until we understand how dualistic thinking protects and pads the ego and its fear of change. Notice that the things we Christians have largely ignored require actual change to ourselves. The things we emphasized instead were usually intellectual beliefs or moral superiority stances that asked almost nothing of us—but compliance from others: the divinity of Christ, the virgin birth, the atonement theory, and beliefs about reproduction and sex. After a while, you start to recognize the underlying bias that is at work. The ego diverts your attention from anything that would ask you to change, to righteous causes that invariably ask others to change. Such issues give you a sense of moral high ground without costing you anything ….Whole people see and create wholeness wherever they go. Split people split up everything and everybody else. By the second half of our lives, we are meant to see in wholes and no longer just in parts.” Richard Rohr

“A party of order or stability [conservatives], and a party of progress or reform [liberals] are both necessary elements of a healthy state of political life.” John Stuart Mill

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust
in your brother’s eye
and pay no attention
to the plank in your own eye?”
Luke 6:41

Moving from the Head to the Heart

  • Does your Christianity emphasize “intellectual beliefs” or “righteous causes” that require “outsiders” to change but not you?
  • Do you see how your ego works to protect the you-who-needs-to-change from hearing any real call to change?
  • Is your mind trapped in “polarity thinking” that makes you change-averse? What does your answer say about you?
  • “Why DO you look at the speck … and not at the plank?” Luke 6:41

Abba, teach me to recognize the voice of my ego, and to free myself from its blinding, destructive grip. Teach me to drop my armor and welcome the work of your Spirit in me.

__________

For More: The Naked Now by Richard Rohr

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The “Daily Riches” from RicherByFar are for your encouragement as you seek after God, and as he seeks after you. My goal is to give you something of uncommon value each day in 400 words or less. I hope you’ll follow my blog, and share it with others. I appreciate your interest!  –  Bill (Psalm 90:14)

Daily Riches: Awareness and Loving Listening (Anthony De Mello)

Posted on by under Change Yourself First, Loving Listening, Loving Well, Mindfulness

“When I’m listening to you, it’s infinitely more important for me to listen to me than to listen to you. Of course, it’s important to listen to you, but it’s more important that I listen to me. Otherwise I won’t be hearing you. Or I’ll be distorting everything you say. I’ll be coming at you from my own conditioning. I’ll be reacting to you in all kinds of ways from my insecurities, from my need to manipulate you, from my desire to succeed, from irritations and feelings that I might not be aware of. So it’s frightfully important that I listen to me when I’m listening to you.” Anthony De Mello

“Then [Joseph] had another dream, and he told it to his brothers. ‘Listen,’ he said, ‘I had another dream, and this time the sun and moon and eleven stars were bowing down to me.’ When he told his father as well as his brothers, his father rebuked him and said, ‘What is this dream you had? Will your mother and I and your brothers actually come and bow down to the ground before you?’ His brothers were jealous of him, but his father kept the matter in mind.” Genesis 37:9-11

Moving From the Head to the Heart

  • It’s our “conditioning … insecurities … need to manipulate … desire to succeed … [and] irritations and feelings” that make it so difficult for us to truly listen – to listen lovingly. Imagine how hard it must have been for Joseph’s family to hear about his dream.
  • Are you aware of the “triggers” that spoil your listening? How defended you are? controlling? impatient? unteachable? What would you add to this list?
  • This is an area where training will serve us better than merely trying. How can you train to “listen to you” while you “listen to me?” Can you practice watching your conversations from outside? Can you bring an “inner stability” (Nouwen) to conversations, so that it’s not “all about you?”

Abba, teach me to lovingly listen to others by teaching me first to know and hear myself.

__________

For More: Awareness by Anthony De Mello

_________________________________________________

The “Daily Riches” from RicherByFar are for your encouragement as you seek after God, and as he seeks after you. My goal is to give you something of uncommon value each day in 400 words or less. I hope you’ll follow my blog, and share it with others. I appreciate your interest!  –  Bill (Psalm 90:14)

Daily Riches: Activism Requires Contemplation (Wayne Muller and Chris Heuertz) *

Posted on by under Being and Doing, Being the Beloved, Change Yourself First, Contemplation and Activism, Hurry Sickness, Rest and Relaxation, Sabbath Rhythms, Self-care, Social Justice

“I have sat on dozens of boards and commissions with many fine, compassionate, and generous people who are so tired, overwhelmed, and overworked that they have neither the time nor the capacity to listen to the deeper voices that speak to the essence of the problems before them. Presented with the intricate and delicate issues of poverty, public health, community well-being, and crime, our impulse, born of weariness, is to rush headlong toward doing anything that will make the problem go away. Maybe then we can finally go home and get some rest. But without the essential nutrients of rest, wisdom, and delight embedded in the problem-solving process itself, the solution we patch together is likely to be an obstacle to genuine relief. Born of desperation, it often contains enough fundamental inaccuracy to guarantee an equally perplexing problem will emerge as soon as it is put into place. In the soil of the quick fix is the seed of a new problem, because our quiet wisdom is unavailable.” Wayne Muller

“My rhythms have become clearer over the years. I know I need:
Sabbath for Rest
Retreats for Reflection
Vacations for Recreation
Sabbaticals for Renewal.
“And if I don’t make rhythms for rest, reflection, recreation and renewal then all of these opportunities will inevitably be wasted on recovery.”
Chris Heuertz

“This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says:
‘In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength,
but you would have none of it.’”
Isaiah 30:15

Moving From Head to Heart

  • Years ago Lewis Grant coined the phrase “sunset fatigue” to describe the exhausted state in which many arrive home at the end of a day. Do you often feel like you’re done before the day is?
  • Exhaustion sabotages much of what we do, not only at home after “sunset”, but in business settings, community service or in the work of social justice. Can you relate?
  • Muller and Heuertz both insist that we need to regularly stop, rest, delight and contemplate – essentially that self-care must precede any kind of usefulness. Does your life reflect this truth?

Abba, lead me regularly into the sabbath rest you have for me, and help me to live out of that. Impress upon me the need to care for myself well if I’m to be of any use to others.

__________

For More: Sabbath by Wayne Muller

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“I’m for truth, no matter who tells it. I’m for justice, no matter who it is for or against.” (Malcolm X)  I love these words of Malcolm X , but I don’t agree with everything he’s said, written or done. The same is true for those who show up on the pages of Daily Riches. Eventually, writers and teachers from many diverse backgrounds will make an appearance here, and I offer their insights to you without any kind of vetting for “orthodoxy.” Sometimes we learn the most from those with whom we differ, and to turn only to those who are always right or reliable would eliminate everyone. My working assumption in Daily Riches is that the spirit of God will lead you into all truth. So I hope you’ll read, seeking to have your “truth” challenged, critiqued, and improved – and that a priori you’ll be for the truth no matter who tells it. That’s difficult but always worth the effort. Thanks for reading and sharing my daily blog. Bill (Psalm 90:14)

Daily Riches: Your Soul as God’s Dwelling Place (Gordon MacDonald, Parker Palmer and Richard Foster) *

Posted on by under Being and Doing, Change Yourself First, Self-care, Spiritual Formation

“The forming of the soul that it might be a dwelling place for God is the primary work of the Christian leader. This is not an add-on, an option, or a third-level priority. Without this core activity, one almost guarantees that he/she will not last in leadership for a life-time or that what work is accomplished will become less and less reflective of God’s honor and God’s purposes.”  Gordon MacDonald

“Self care is never a selfish act. It is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have – the gift I was put on earth to offer to others.” Parker Palmer

“The desperate need today is not for a greater number of intelligent people, or gifted people, but for deep people.” Richard Foster

“I am the vine; you are the branches.
If you remain in me and I in you,
you will bear much fruit;
apart from me you can do nothing.”
Jesus in John 15:5

Moving From the Head to the Heart

  • The first quote is meant for pastors, but isn’t it true for all of us? The problem is, many of us (pastors included) don’t think of the forming of our own soul as our “primary work.” Do you think of this as your most important work, or are you more focused on serving God and others?
  • Can you imagine offering your best self to your marriage, your family, your neighborhood, your church, your country – to anything – without such a focus?
  • Gordon MacDonald and many of us insisted on learning this the hard way. Will you also need to learn by suffering and painful loss, or can you heed these words of warning? Can you make an action plan so that you don’t fool yourself now with merely good intentions?

Abba, I know that you have taken up residence in me already, and that I’ll always be your dwelling place. It’s only whether I’ll be a holy or unholy one, whether an expansive, welcoming one, or a restricted inhospitable one. Help me to welcome you as lovingly as you have welcomed me.

__________

For More: “Cultivating the Soul: Spiritual Formation Can Happen, Without Saying a Word” (article) by Gordon MacDonald

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“There is nothing new except what has been forgotten.” (Marie Antionette) , and thus “Men more often require to be reminded than informed.”  (Samuel Johnson) The purpose of Daily Riches is to return again and again to a list of critical concepts at the core of the spiritual life. “Therefore, I will always remind you about these things—even though you [may] already know them and are standing firm in the truth you have been taught.” (2 Peter 1:12)  I appreciate your interest! When you find this helpful, please share! – Bill

Daily Riches: Trying to Give Water From an Empty Well (Parker Palmer and Pete Scazzero) *

Posted on by under Being and Doing, Change Yourself First, Loving Union with God, Self-care

“When I give something I do not possess, I give a false and dangerous gift, a gift that looks like love but is, in reality, loveless – a gift given more from my need to prove myself than from the other’s need to be cared for. One sign that I am violating my own nature in the name of nobility is a condition called burnout. Though usually regarded as a result of trying to give too much, burnout in my experience results from trying to give what I do not possess – the ultimate in giving too little! Burnout is a state of emptiness, to be sure, but it does not result from giving all I have; it merely reveals the nothingness from which I was trying to give in the first place.” Parker Palmer

“Remaining in loving union with Jesus is a matter of life and death for us as well as for everyone who looks to us for nourishment.” Peter Scazzero

“My people have committed two sins:
They have forsaken me,
the spring of living water,
and have dug their own cisterns,
broken cisterns that cannot hold water.”
Jeremiah 2:13

Moving From the Head to the Heart

  • Have you ever felt burned out? Looking back, to you have insight now into what happened? Were you “giving something you did not possess?”
  • Do you see “nourishing your soul” as a matter of life and death for you? Do you see how failing do to so can make you “dangerous?”
  • Is busyness, drivenness, exhaustion or a dangerous sense of self-sufficiency keeping you from nourishing your soul?
  • You you have a specific plan to cultivate loving union with God, “the spring of living water?” If not, where could you begin?

Abba, when I come to the end of my rope – when my well is empty  – when I’m running on fumes – when my experience of you is tired or second-hand … may I remember then to address the “nothingness” in my inner life before I attempt to do anything else.  And may I remember my need even when it seems like I’m doing fine.

__________

For More: Let Your Life Speak by Parker Palmer

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“There is nothing new except what has been forgotten.” (Marie Antionette) , and thus “Men more often require to be reminded than informed.”  (Samuel Johnson) The purpose of Daily Riches is to return again and again to a list of critical concepts at the core of the spiritual life. “Therefore, I will always remind you about these things—even though you [may] already know them and are standing firm in the truth you have been taught.” (2 Peter 1:12)  I appreciate your interest! When you find this helpful, please share! – Bill

Daily Riches: Activism Depends on Contemplation (Jim Wallis) *

Posted on by under Being and Doing, Change Yourself First, Contemplation and Activism, Learning Your Proper Place, Self-care, Social Justice

“Contemplation prevents burnout. Action without reflection can easily become barren and even bitter. Without the space of self-examination and the capacity for rejuvenation, the danger of exhaustion and despair is too great. Contemplation confronts us with the questions of our identity and power. Who are we? To whom do we belong? Is there a power that is greater than ours? Drivenness must give way to peacefulness and anxiety to joy. Strategy grows into trust, success into obedience, planning into prayer.”  Jim Wallis

“When this happened, I did not rush out to consult with any human being. Nor did I go up to Jerusalem to consult with those who were apostles before I was. Instead, I went away into Arabia, and later I returned to the city of Damascus.”  Galatians 1:16b, 17 NLT [Paul, the apostle, describing his response when God called him]

Moving From the Head to the Heart

  • Have you experienced the dangers from “exhaustion and despair” and “barrenness and bitterness” that can occur in ministry, politics, or just in the demands of everyday life?
  • Is your life or ministry characterized by drivenness? If so, think about what that might say about you – your motives – what you’re trusting.
  • Have you created spaces in your regular routine for “self-examination and … rejuvenation?” Can you make a plan now to do at least one thing differently even this day?

Abba, I relax in you, I bask in your love, and I trust you to do what only you can do in my life and world today.

__________

For More: The Soul of Politics by Jim Wallis

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The “Daily Riches” from RicherByFar are for your encouragement as you seek after God, and as he seeks after you. My goal is to provide you with something of uncommon value each day in 400 words or less. I hope you’ll follow my blog, and share it with others. I appreciate your interest!  –  Bill (Psalm 90:14)

Daily Riches: Change the World, but First Yourself (David K. Flowers, Thomas Merton, Socrates) *

Posted on by under Busyness, Change Yourself First, Humility, Silence, Social Justice, Stillness, The Call to Change

“You don’t need to fix your friends or family. You don’t need to solve all the problems that confront you. If you can simply learn to not be controlled by fear — your own or that of others — you will be a non-anxious presence in the lives of others, and there is nothing they need more. So how do you do this? By confronting your own anxieties and fears head-on. An anxious person cannot be a non-anxious presence, obviously. The world is full of people wanting to solve all the problems of the world. But the world would profit much more if people would first confront their own anxieties and the things that cause them 1) to have to fill every silence with meaningless chatter, 2) to stay constantly busy, and 3) to do anything to avoid being still.”  David K. Flowers

“He who attempts to act and do things for others or for the world without deepening his own self-understanding, freedom, integrity, and capacity to love, will not have anything to give to others. He will communicate to them nothing but the contagion of his own obsessions, his aggressivity, his ego-centered ambitions, his delusions about ends and means.” Thomas Merton

“Let him who would move the world, first move himself.” ~ Socrates

“First get rid of the log in your own eye;
then you will see well enough
to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.”
Jesus in Matthew 7:5

Moving From the Head to the Heart

  • It’s much easier to focus on “fixing” another person (a spouse, a child, a friend) than to look within. In many instances, Jesus wants us to leave the other person to him. Is there someone in your life right now that you’re trying to “fix?”
  • The most effective way to help others is for us to bring a “non-anxious presence” (“our best selves”) into our relationships with them. Do you regularly have a non-anxious presence?
  • Can you spend time before God in silence and stillness? Are you too busy to be without anxiety? How can you have a more “non-anxious presence?”

Abba, I know I need to slow down, be still, and be more quiet before you and others. Help me learn to rest in your love – so I can bring my very best self to others.

__________

For More: Living Truthfully by David K. Flowers

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Thanks for reading!  –  Bill (Psalm 90:14)

Daily Riches: I See Men Like Trees Walking (Henri Nouwen, Ram Dass, Thomas Merton and Jean Vanier)

Posted on by under Change Yourself First, Humility, Loving Well

“When you go out into the woods and you look at trees, you see all these different trees. And some of them are bent, and some of them are straight ….And you look at the tree and you allow it. …You sort of understand that it didn’t get enough light, and so it turned that way. And you don’t get all emotional about it. You just allow it. You appreciate the tree. The minute you get near humans, you lose all that. And you are constantly saying ‘You’re too this, or I’m too this.’ That judging mind comes in. And so I practice turning people into trees. Which means appreciating them just the way they are.” Ram Dass20131018_164446

“We spend an enormous amount of energy making up our minds about other people. Not a day goes by without somebody doing or saying something that evokes in us the need to form an opinion about him or her. We hear a lot, see a lot, and know a lot. The feeling that we have to sort it all out in our minds and make judgments about it can be quite oppressive. The desert fathers said that judging others is a heavy burden, while being judged by others is a light one. Once we can let go of our need to judge others, we will experience an immense inner freedom. Once we are free from judging, we will be also free for mercy.” Henri Nouwen

“The beginning of love is the will to let those we love be perfectly themselves, the resolution not to twist them to fit our own image.” Thomas Merton

“To love someone is … to reveal to them their beauty and value, to say, ‘You’re beautiful. You’re important.'” Jean Vanier

“Or how can you say to your brother, Brother, let me take out the speck that is in your eye,’
when you yourself do not see the log that is in your own eye?” – Jesus

Moving From Head to Heart

  • God’s job is to judge, and ours is to love. Can you leave the judging to God? could that free you to love? free you “for mercy?”
  • Can you start by letting others be “perfectly themselves?” If not, why not?
  • How effective are you at revealing to others that they’re “beautiful … important?”

Abba, help me love well by appreciating instead of evaluating.

_________________________________________________

Thanks for reading! –  Bill (Psalm 90:14)

 

Daily Riches: “Detachment” and Loving Well (Donald McCullough)

Posted on by under Change Yourself First, Detachment and Attachment, Loving Well, Self-care

“Love flourishes only in freedom. Relationships based on the illusions born of insecurities inevitably will become coercive, and nothing destroys love faster then coercion. How could it be otherwise? Love is a gift, one that cannot be given under compulsion or taken by force. Love cannot happen if others are treated as mere extensions of ourselves as slaves of our needs and desires. Only through detachment–the separation of ourselves from others and others from ourselves–can we find the freedom that makes room for the mutual attentiveness and mutual honoring and mutual delight and mutual serving that are the foursquare foundation of authentic love.” Donald McCullough

“I have loved you
even as the Father has loved me.
Remain in my love.
… Love each other in the same way
I have loved you.”
John 15:9,12

Moving From the Head to the Heart

  • Does such “detachment” from others seem like a good and proper thing, or a selfish, misguided thing? Are you able to give someone freedom to solve their own problem – or not? to fail – or not? What does your answer say about you?
  • Have you even had someone try to control you or manipulate you “for your own good?” Did you feel loved?
  • Is your love ever coercive or manipulative – really about some need of yours? If so, can you put your finger on what that need of yours might be?
  • God loves you greatly, but allows you to make lots of mistakes, and often, to suffer the consequences. He respects your freedom, and waits for you to choose to love him. All this could be otherwise. Do you think it’s good the way it is? Why or why not?

Abba, help me to love others, not because of some need of my own, but for their good. Help me to love enough to release control of those I love, even when sometimes it means watching them struggle and fail. Even when I think I have the answer. Even when I think they can’t do without me.

__________

For More: The Consolations of Imperfection by Donald McCullough

_________________________________________________

My goal in sharing these ‘daily riches” is to give you something of uncommon value each day in 400 words of less. I hope you’ll follow my blog, and share it. I appreciate your interest! –  Bill (Psalm 90:14)

Daily Riches: Awareness and Loving Listening (Anthony deMello)

Posted on by under Change Yourself First, Loving Listening, Mindfulness

“When I’m listening to you, it’s infinitely more important for me to listen to me than to listen to you. Of course, it’s important to listen to you, but it’s more important that I listen to me. Otherwise I won’t be hearing you. Or I’ll be distorting everything you say. I’ll be coming at you from my own conditioning. I’ll be reacting to you in all kinds of ways from my insecurities, from my need to manipulate you, from my desire to succeed, from irritations and feelings that I might not be aware of. So it’s frightfully important that I listen to me when I’m listening to you.” Anthony deMello

“Then [Joseph] had another dream, and he told it to his brothers. ‘Listen,’ he said, ‘I had another dream, and this time the sun and moon and eleven stars were bowing down to me.’ When he told his father as well as his brothers, his father rebuked him and said, ‘What is this dream you had? Will your mother and I and your brothers actually come and bow down to the ground before you?’ His brothers were jealous of him, but his father kept the matter in mind.” Genesis 37:9-11

Moving From the Head to the Heart

  • It’s our “conditioning … insecurities … need to manipulate … desire to succeed … [and] irritations and feelings” that make it so difficult for us to truly listen – to listen lovingly. Imagine how hard it must have been for Joseph’s family to hear about his dream.
  • Are you aware of the “triggers” that spoil your listening? How defended you are? controlling? impatient? unteachable? What would you add to this list?
  • This is an area where training will serve us better than merely trying. How can you train to “listen to you” while you “listen to me?” Can you practice watching your conversations from outside? Can you bring an “inner stability” (Nouwen) to conversations, so that it’s not “all about you?”

Abba, teach me to lovingly listen to others by teaching me first to know and hear myself.

__________

For More: Awareness by Anthony deMello

_________________________________________________

The “Daily Riches” from RicherByFar are for your encouragement as you seek after God, and as he seeks after you. My goal is to give you something of uncommon value each day in less than 400 words. I hope you’ll follow my blog, and share it with others. I appreciate your interest!  –  Bill (Psalm 90:14)

Daily Riches: Contemplation and Activism (Wayne Muller)

Posted on by under Being and Doing, Busyness, Change Yourself First, Contemplation and Activism, Hurry Sickness, Social Justice

“I have sat on dozens of boards and commissions with many fine, compassionate, and generous people who are so tired, overwhelmed, and overworked that they have neither the time nor the capacity to listen to the deeper voices that speak to the essence of the problems before them. Presented with the intricate and delicate issues of poverty, public health, community well-being, and crime, our impulse, born of weariness, is to rush headlong toward doing anything that will make the problem go away. Maybe then we can finally go home and get some rest. But without the essential nutrients of rest, wisdom, and delight embedded in the problem-solving process itself, the solution we patch together is likely to be an obstacle to genuine relief. Born of desperation, it often contains enough fundamental inaccuracy to guarantee an equally perplexing problem will emerge as soon as it is put into place. In the soil of the quick fix is the seed of a new problem, because our quiet wisdom is unavailable.” Wayne Muller

“This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says:
‘In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength,
but you would have none of it.’”
Isaiah 30:15

Moving From the Head to the Heart

  • Years ago Lewis Grant coined the phrase “sunset fatigue” to describe the exhausted state in which so many arrive home at the end of a work day. Do you often feel like you’re done before the day is?
  • Muller’s words remind us that exhaustion sabotages much of what we do, not only at home after “sunset”, but in business settings, community service or the practice of social justice.
  • Muller’s words are from his book Sabbath, so he is suggesting that we need to regularly stop, rest, delight and contemplate – essentially that self-care must precede any kind of usefulness. Does your life reflect this truth?

Abba, lead me regularly into the sabbath rest you have for me, and to live out of that. Impress upon me the need to care for myself well if I’m to be of any use to others.

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For More: Sabbath by Wayne Muller

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The “Daily Riches” from RicherByFar are for your encouragement as you seek after God, and as he seeks after you. My goal is to give you something of uncommon value each day in less than 400 words. I hope you’ll follow my blog, and share it with others. I appreciate your interest!  –  Bill (Psalm 90:14)

Daily Riches: Leadership and Spiritual Formation (Gordon MacDonald)

Posted on by under Being and Doing, Change Yourself First, Spiritual Formation

“The forming of the soul that it might be a dwelling place for God is the primary work of the Christian leader. This is not an add-on, an option, or a third-level priority. Without this core activity, one almost guarantees that he/she will not last in leadership for a life-time or that what work is accomplished will become less and less reflective of God’s honor and God’s purposes.”  Gordon MacDonald

“I am the vine; you are the branches.
If you remain in me and I in you,
you will bear much fruit;
apart from me you can do nothing.”
Jesus in John 15:5

Moving From the Head to the Heart

  • The quote is meant for pastors, but isn’t it true for all of us? The problem is, many of us (pastors included) don’t think of the forming of our own soul as our “primary work.” Do you think of this as your most important work, or are you more focused on serving God and others?
  • Can you imagine offering your best self to your marriage, your family, your neighborhood, your church, your country – to anything – without such a focus?
  • Gordon MacDonald and many of us insisted on learning this the hard way. Will you also need to learn by suffering and painful loss, or can you heed these words of warning? Can you make an action plan so that you don’t fool yourself now with merely good intentions?

Abba, I know that you have taken up residence in me already, and that I’ll always be your dwelling place. It’s only whether I’ll be a holy or unholy one, whether an expansive, welcoming one, or a restricted inhospitable one. Help me to welcome you as lovingly as you have welcomed me.

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For More: “Cultivating the Soul: Spiritual Formation Can Happen, Without Saying a Word” (article) by Gordon MacDonald

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The “Daily Riches” from RicherByFar are for your encouragement as you seek after God, and as he seeks after you. My goal is to give you something of uncommon value each day in less than 400 words. I hope you’ll follow my blog, and share it with others. I appreciate your interest!  –  Bill (Psalm 90:14)

Daily Riches: Change Yourself First (Parker Palmer)

Posted on by under Being and Doing, Change Yourself First

“When I give something I do not possess, I give a false and dangerous gift, a gift that looks like love but is, in reality, loveless – a gift given more from my need to prove myself than from the other’s need to be cared for. One sign that I am violating my own nature in the name of nobility is a condition called burnout. Though usually regarded as a result of trying to give too much, burnout in my experience results from trying to give what I do not possess – the ultimate in giving too little! Burnout is a state of emptiness, to be sure, but it does not result from giving all I have; it merely reveals the nothingness from which I was trying to give in the first place.” Parker Palmer

“My people have committed two sins:
They have forsaken me,
the spring of living water,
and have dug their own cisterns,
broken cisterns that cannot hold water.”
Jeremiah 2:13

Moving From the Head to the Heart

  • Have you ever felt burned out? Was it when you were trying to do something “noble?” Why do you think that happened?
  • How could one end up giving a “gift that looks like love, but it really, loveless?”
  • If the problem is “giving something you don’t possess” (giving out of “nothingness”), what is the solution?
  • Based on his words here, what do you think Palmer wants for you?

Abba, when I come to the end of my rope – when my well is empty  – when I’m running on fumes – when my experience of you is tired or second-hand … may I remember then to address the “nothingness” in my inner life before I attempt to do anything else.

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For More: Let Your Life Speak by Parker Palmer

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The “Daily Riches” from RicherByFar are for your encouragement as you seek after God, and as he seeks after you. My goal is to give you something of uncommon value each day in less than 400 words. I hope you’ll follow my blog, and share it with others. I appreciate your interest!  –  Bill (Psalm 90:14)